Can you have too much coffee? No, I like it

Too much coffee

Can you have too much coffee? No, I like it.

I’m writing this at 7:30 in the morning and I fear I may have had too much coffee. My hands are flying across the keyboard at what somewhere over 140 words a minute. I’m pumped! I’m jacked! I can take on the world! As my mind was flying this morning it occurred to me that I drink a lot of coffee, and I mean a lot. I’m normally a 3/4 a day kinda guy but today, I’ve already had 4. Then I saw on Barista School Perth that the average person in Finland drinks more than that… EVERYDAY! Don’t believe me, check it out. Those Barista Trainers do their research.

Obviously 4 coffees in an hour and a half is a large amount, in the same way that 4 beers in 90 minutes will cause some people to introduce themselves slurrily to everyone they meet including, potentially, the floor. But I am talking about my regular 3 or 4 coffees a day, is this too much? Looking at the Barista School infographic I see that it is nearly triple the normal amount here in the Australia, but I maintain that it’s not a problem. I put it to you that every coffee I drink is not only justifiable but almost unavoidable. Here’s my case:

Coffee #1: Wake me up

This is my most important coffee of the day. I start work early and I have a long old commute, so my 5:30 alarm has never been a welcoming sound. Rather than play the cat and mouse game of hoping the 5 minutes extra sleep between will somehow replace the 4 hours I desire, I drag myself out of of bed and go straight to the coffee machine. No shower, no emails, no stretching and certainly no words, only coffee! This is when I actually wake up, before that I am a zombie with no power, strength, skills or knowledge just a shell that looks a bit like the guy you know. I have actually tested how long I will stay in my pre-coffee haze without my caffeine fix. I woke up one Thursday and tried to test it out and a mere 36 hours later I finally managed to grunt out my first words.

Any arguments? I think that the morning coffee pick me up is common enough, and anyone who does try to argue will have to explain my state to the boss.

Coffee #2: Welcome to work

I work for a cafe! Not just any cafe, I work for Jessie’s Cafe who, in my biased opinion, serves the best coffee in Perth and in my completely unbiased opinion…. nope, still the best coffee in Perth! How am I, a coffee lover, supposed to get to work and not have a coffee. In fact I think it impressive that I, usually, only have 1! Also, this marks my first foray into an actual conversation, beyond a nod at the bus driver or heaven forbid having to negotiate topping up my smart rider.

I can tell by the droves of you that come through the doors every day, that this will not be highly contested. Jess, Lloyd and now Laura and Leonie are really good at what they do, not only on the coffee machine, but also meeting zombies like me and turning them into functioning human beings.

Coffee #3: Lunch was tiring

I don’t know about you, but I’m a huge sufferer from the post lunch lull. I eat my lunch, normally at my desk, pause for about 12 minutes to check up on the news, Facebook, Twitter and occasionally if I’m feeling particularly carefree Instagram, then back to work. I type feverishly for a further 18 seconds and then bam, I am curling up around my keyboard. So where do I go? What can possible do to pick me up? Did I mention I work for a Cafe! So it’s now 1:30 and I am 3 coffees deep.

Coffee #4: It’s not bedtime yet

Whether I’m working late or out with friends, my early starts have a massive affect on my evenings. At around 6:30 I will yawn and if I don’t take quick, decisive action, at around 7:30 I will sleep. How much fun do I sound?

This 4th coffee isn’t even for me! I need to work, for the bosses sake, and I need to be awake otherwise my friends will miss out on my charming wit and who are you to deprive them?

So there is my case. Do I drink too much coffee? Please feel free to make suggestions as to which coffees can be cut, but I think both know I’m right.

Note: This post was written in under 10 minutes, how? Too much coffee!

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